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Being in the Now MomentI'm feeling a touch of anxiety, so I'm writing this blog to bring me into the now. They say if you are feeling down and depressed you are living in the past and if you are feeling anxiety you are living in the future. Living in the past or living in the future is fruitless because growth has to start with the seeds and attention you give to the now in order to bring manifestation into being.
My book is nearing publication and should be in print within a couple of weeks and I'm sitting a little bit in that no zone area where I feel like I'm going around in circles achieving nothing. I always have so many projects on the go at any one time so I have to give a little bit of attention to all of them on a daily basis to keep them alive and keep the energy moving. For the last nearly three years I have been caring for my parents
which has made it difficult for me to make any real leaps toward my own path but I made the choice to give myself to them for as long as they needed me because, one day I'm just not going to have that option. It's a hard journey but one that is very rewarding in other ways. Mum lost the fight with lung cancer in January last year after an 18 month journey trying to turn it around. My Dad has been sick for about five years with TB and emphysema and after Mum left us, he has taken a down hill slide missing her so much. I live full time with Dad now and he needs 24/7 care. He is uncomfortable with other people in the house so we've made the decision that we don't get extra carers and it's just me which I can see how blessed I am to have traveled this journey of meditation and the conscious ascension path for so long because it has given me the ability to live in the now and not get caught up in what I might be missing out on in the world that happens outside our home. It is a slow and very cruel process the way my Dad has chosen to leave this planet; he can't get better because the physical damage is done and it is a slow painful and breathless decline. It's hard for me to get time to work on my things because I'm often up and down every 10 minutes or so to tend to him and writing is something that takes time and flow and inspiration. I seem to be finding moments now even if very late at night or somehow managing to write and stop, write and stop. Not the best way to write but anything is better than nothing or I might slip into "the past" lol. If I try to accomplish too much too fast, I could slip into the future and be of absolutely no use to the world at all because it would render me very ungrounded.
Finding Motivation and Inspiration
So, a couple of months ago, I saw a course with a guy named Kevin Doherty to help me get enthused about writing again. I had started my book in 2010; in fact I had started it previous to that but I made a genuine dent in getting it started in 2010. My life is not the norm and apart from for the last 12 months I have not been in the one place very long for a very long time and in fact for a good part of 3 years I moved every 3 weeks. That is very taxing and very hard to get flow into bringing things into creation. I have actually completed the first very rough draft of that first book, but it is such a major project that is hard to find a place for it to end and I had been confused as to whether it was one book, two books or three books. So, I took the course with Kevin and it did all it promised and inspired me to write and write fast but what happened was I discovered I was writing a completely different book and this book was in fact paramount to the writing of the other book. This was the missing link to the other book and it needed to be written to give me greater foundations for the other one.
The writing of The Pendulum: Powered by the Awakening Soul came together so smoothly, as if it was guided from a place other than my personality. Sure it's my story, I know it, but it simply flowed without effort and before I knew it, it was ready to be edited and published. The decision to go ahead and publish it myself on Amazon and do all the work myself was, I thought, a no brainer. I would save myself a lot of money and learn a lot along the way. I advertised the upcoming publishing and promoted one of my ascension programs at a reduced rate and sold about 15 in the first week of promoting it. This was my sign that all was going according to plan and that what Kevin Doherty talked about in his course did actually work. I set to editing with some help from a couple of students, I went into action to design the cover and received lots of input from my Facebook followers and finally made a decision on a cover that really feels good. It was time to format the book for Kindle and Create Space and here things started to go wrong. Silly little things that should have been easy and smooth kept placing hurdles and stupid mistakes were coming back from the formatter's. I tried a few different ones looking for the right service and each time there was something just not right. I was becoming stressed and I felt like I was swinging in the breeze; I was totally not grounded and going around and around in circles and then, while sitting during meditation I asked of my Higher Self "please show me the divine direction for ease of publishing my book". Within an hour I received a phone call from Xlibris Publishing but I overlooked them again and continued in my haze of craziness running into wall after wall after wall. A few days later I decided to listen the next time Xilibris rang me and listen I did and they made me a really good offer and I accepted. I turned the publishing over and let go and let god and now just a few weeks after handing it over, it is almost done. We are at the final stages of production and the book should go to print in less than 2 weeks, probably in about one week. I am really looking forward to the date the Universe has scheduled for the book to be published.........why?
Let Go and Be in the Now
I was trying to control things, I was trying really hard to have my book published on the 22 January 2015 because it was a 22 day in a personal 22 year for myself and for LUXOR Light. LUXOR Light is all about the sacred geometries of the 22 as well as my life lesson. My personal year vibration that is also working the vibration of the 22 for this year from my last birthday until my next birthday ends on 2nd March 2015 and begins a 23/5 vibration on my birthday on the 3rd March 2015. I have let go and it is cutting it fine, but I am wondering if we will make it.....I surrender to the story about to unfold when we see what date the Universe chooses to have this book go to the public.
My other book "Birthing a New Reality", is a whole other journey and I do not know if I will self publish or look for a traditional publishing house..... what does the universe want for that one?..........
You can purchase my book "The Pendulum, Powered by the Awakening Soul" here on Amazon, I hope you enjoy it,