Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Between Me and God

I start my day every day and have done for many years with finding a way to do something for others.  I've done this not with particular conscious intent but rather it is just something I do.  I don't seem to be able to function before I have sent healing, written something and shared it or made sure I answered emails for clients/students etc.  It's who I am and I guess I will never be any different.  Like today, I should be packing my bags, I have places to go things to do but I am badgered until I stop and share what is flowing through my mind.

Contrary to popular belief, I do care what people think about me but not to such an extent as it stops me from sharing my Truth.  I do feel the pangs of hurt that come when someone hurtles an insult toward me when it is to do with what I believe in.  I sometimes spend days or weeks or even months and in even rare cases years feeling to some degree the pain that we as humans can feel when we feel wronged or even feel wrong.  I am no different to anyone else.  I do however try to analyse myself as to why I let it get to me because I am fully aware that it is purely an emotion that is only trying to speak to me with a wisdom that I have obviously not "got yet".  Sometimes it might take years to establish "what is this saying to me?", "what is it that is in me that is in you?".  "What is it that is in you that is in me?".  

Pain is a signal reminding us that somewhere we have moved out of alignment with God/Universe/Creator what ever you want to call that Almighty source of Energy that we are an eeny weeny spark of.  Somehow we have gone astray if we feel the pain, if we feel that separate from the All Encompassing Energy of Love.  Where there is love there is no pain, where there is pain there can be no love.  

In recent weeks I have invited in an experience to remind me of separateness.  I wonder why I invited this situation in or more to the point why did I allow myself to feel the pain of separateness when I am fully able to be in a space of Love?  I think sometimes we invite these experiences in to remind ourselves that we are living a human existence and the human existence is so full of wonderful learning experiences.  When we are totally in a state of Bliss there really is nothing to learn, so we invite in a new experience so we can learn that little bit more and grow that little bit more and at this stage of our evolution we can reconstruct our Beingness  with all the wisdom we have attained and take it to that next level.

Last night I questioned myself to the umph degree. I entered into deep meditation.   All night I received my answer through a song going over and over in my head and I woke this morning with the answer. "Never count your money while you are sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting when the dealing is done".  

I had my answer and I feel such a release.  I need not concern myself with not having done enough, I only need to concern myself with continuing to do more.  Simply get on with the job, and my job is to give, to share and to keep keeping on.  I know my "Self" and that is what ultimately matters.   In the end it is only between me and God.

I hope you can gain benefit from my experience.

I love and blessings

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