Sunday, 4 January 2015

Patience

Becoming an author is testing my degree of patience.  I'm a pretty patient person in most circumstances, but that's because I'm a Pisces and it comes natural.  Not only that, I have a Taurus moon which makes me doubly patient, but hang on a minute, in amongst that I have Aries as my ascendant! Now that throws a spanner into the mix and while my personality and my heart is very patient, when it comes to getting things done that I am passionate about, I want it done yesterday!I started writing my book "Birthing a New Reality" back in 2010, but my life is not what you would call the norm.  Around the same time I became what you could describe as "homeless", that is not to say I lived on the streets but I wasn't able to afford to live as most people do.  I lost everything, couldn't provide for my youngest son who had to go and live with his Dad and my work was at a standstill and because I had a business albeit one that didn't earn me any money I was not eligible for more than $120 a fortnight on a government pension (the dole).  I was stumped! What was I going to do? I was not in any state to go and find myself a "real job" and I've never been successful in fitting the role of the norm anyway, so I was forced to exile myself in a country that I could afford to live while I got my act together.  I sold what little possessions I had including my car and went and lived in Egypt for 3 months, found myself in amongst the Egyptian Revolution(well not literally) but I was there for the duration of it and tried to get my head together.  It sort of gave me some reprieve from the financial difficulties of living in Australia, but it didn't really solve much else.  After three months, I came home, I'd had enough, my daughter had lost her partner to suicide and my Dad was seriously ill.  I needed to be home!

Still broke, I borrowed some money for a ticket home from my brother and high tailed it back to an unknown fate still not knowing what on earth I was going to do.  The generosity of another brother gave me 6 months reprieve living in his home until he needed it back and from then onwards I moved every 3 weeks packing all my belongings into my little 2 door hatch that I managed to save the $2000 for through the spattering a of workshops I facilitated on my return to Oz.  That 3 on 3 off went on for all of 2011, 2012 and 2013.  It was exhausting travelling between my brothers house and my sons house 4 hours apart every 3 weeks.In July 2012 my Mum was diagnosed with lung cancer and my heart was ripped to shreds, but this was not about me, this was Mums time.  I shortened my turnarounds so I could spend more time with my Mum.  For the next 18 months, I moved between my brothers house, my Mothers house and in Perth to be with my 16 year old son and I was able to give Mum healing on almost every day that she had left with us.  

Sadly we lost Mum in January 2014.I was exhausted and although I was not able to promote a tour to Egypt as I normally would, I had a ticket booked for the January and 3 people holding their tickets waiting to see if I was going to go ahead with the scheduled trip.  I did, I needed the time out and so headed to Egypt for 6 weeks.  When I came back, I moved in permanently to become the carer for my Dad who has been sick for 5 years with TB and emphaseama. Dad was ok for a couple of months and then things came crashing down on him when he got shingles and he has been on the downslide ever since.  Dad wants to die at home without professional care and strangers coming in and I'm doing my best to manage so he can have his wish.  However, sitting beside Dad all day for 6 months often with the tv on for him, is not the perfect environment for writing, so trying to finish my manuscript just hasn't happened.  I felt like I had let Mum down by not getting my book completed before she left because I know she was really hoping to see me achieve that, but caring so completely and writing don't really go hand in hand.  Then a few weeks ago I came across a course drastically reduced, to become an Author in 90 days.  I listened to the promotional speel and thought, "I can do that!" And bought the course and somehow I managed to complete a manuscript.  Not "the" manuscript, but a prelude to my main book. I so want to have this published before Dad leaves us, so I'm really hoping and praying that everything falls Into to place within the next few days.  Dad is getting weaker by the day and I know it will lift a burden from his shoulders if he can see that loopy lala daughter who chose to jump off the merry go round of normality could at the ripe "young" age of 54 come up with something that might lead to a secure life ahead!

But back to patience, I patiently began to write this blog, to fill a gap, to create more patience within myself so I could meet the demands of my "patient" nature and balance it out with my "go fast" get it done now side kick. I wasn't having any satisfaction with getting quick response from publishers, but in the process of writing this finally someone got back to me with a quick and precise recommendation!  It's amazing when we set the wheels in motion and create a space to shift the stagnant energy from stagnant to energy in motion!

I hope to have my book "The Pendulum, Powered by the Awakening Soul" published in a few days!  You can see a preview on my website  www.luxorlightascension.com